The Daily Yo-ji

The American in Japan:

2012-01-26T19:23:00.001+09:00

This is a conversation from facebook that I got caught up in and decided to bring over here:

It started because last week I had an idea for a comedy routine that I thought would work in Japanese.

I was finishing up a shift at a yakitori restaurant where I work part time, a place where it's customary for the owner and staff to eat and drink while we wait tables and cook. When things start to wind down, the owner will often invite me to sit at the counter and share some drinks or snacks with him.

On this particular night, he offered me some Japanese sake and some french fries. As I was eating and drinking, I looked over at him and said "Drinking sake and snacking on french fries. I don't think I've ever felt MORE like an American in Japan."

And he laughed for something like 5 minutes straight.

The thing about Japan is, they LOVE to laugh about things foreign. There are stand-up comedy duo routines like "欧米化; oubeika" where one Japanese man berates another Japanese man for becoming too westernized, or performers like Dylan and Catherine, two Japanese people pretending to be American, mostly by means of speaking Japanese with an affected accent. There are characters in advertisements like "Mr. James," the dorky white foreigner who loves Japan, or characters on TV like Bobby Ologun who make their living by playing into Japanese stereotypes.

Without getting into issues of racism, I think it's safe to say that the roles for foreigners on TV and in media are somewhat limited. Even the few foreigners who've gone from comedian/entertainer to roles with higher levels of respect and acclaim, people like Dave Spector or Makkun, are still largely defined by the Gaikokujin label.

I saw a telephone interview with Dave Spector in which he explained that Former Prime Minister Hatoyama's wife was seen by Americans as the "Lady Gaga" of Japan, a line I'm sure his producers and directors insisted on because... it's blatantly untrue. They just wanted a foreigner to confirm something they made up about Americans.

And I watched Makkun miss a kanji question on a quiz show, which prompted the comment "I think we hear that he was Harvard-educated and forget that in the end, he's still a foreigner, and Japanese is hard for foreigners."

As someone who feels strongly and negatively about the boxes that foreigners get placed in, not only on TV but in personal interactions, I was kind of surprised to find myself thinking so seriously about creating an American comedic character.

The unpolished idea was to be "THE American in Japan," and make jokes accordingly. The jokes came really easily.

Some were based on truth, little things that I really do or feel. For example, a lot of times, a Japanese person I meet for the first time extends their hand for a handshake, when I've already started to bow, which results in a bowing handshake that is hilarious. And it only happens because I'm a foreigner, and I'm trying to act accordingly to Japanese culture, while they're trying to act according to mine. 「握手しながら、お辞儀。ザ・日本にいるアメリカ人。」

Other jokes were silly stuff like "I'll only ride in a rickshaw if the driver agrees to run in the right hand lane." or "For breakfast, I eat Miso SHIRIARU (a cross between Miso Soup and the Japanese for Cereal). The latter, I felt ashamed for even thinking of, not just because they're groaners, but because they're blatant pandering to Japanese stereotypes. "What's your favorite nabe? HAMBURGER NABE! OH, AMERICA."

And then there were others. Jokes I felt like I could make without feeling like I was selling out. Something that was simultaneously self-parody, and a parody of Japanese attitudes towards foreigners like: 「要らないのに、道でビラを渡されないと寂しい。。。; Even though I don't want them, I still feel kind of rejected when people in the street don't try to hand me fliers. 」Equally targeting how silly it is for me to react negatively for being treated differently in a way that ultimately benefits me, AND the Japanese people who don't think a foreign face can be a customer.

And just as the "Oubeika" routine eventually started to incorporate "Nanbeika; you've been South-Americanized!" jokes, I could branch out and make other points.

"I get upset when people ask me about the US," says the Canadian in Japan." Punchline being, to Japan a foreign face equals American.

"I get really upset when people ask if there are chopsticks in other countries." Says the CHINESE PERSON in Japan! Hahaha. Cause... Japanese people forget that other Asians count as gaijin too. And they forget that chopsticks aren't unique to Japan.

Over the past few months, I've been trying my jokes out here and there, in my personal life, and through outlets like facebook and twitter. They're not all tagged with "American in Japan." Some are just jokes about language gaffs.

And the responses from Japanese people... have not been good.

I made the following joke on Twitter: "Hey Japanese-language enthusiasts, learn from my mistake! Hieshou (suffering from low body temperature) means sensitivity to the cold. Jiheishou (autism) is a different thing altogether!"

The majority of the responses from Japanese people were explanations of the difference between the two words, of even corrections of the way I had defined "hieshou." They totally missed the fact that I was consciously making a joke.

And when I explained my "American in Japan" concept to some friends, and added in the part about the Canadian who's tired of hearing "Tell me all about the States," they blanked. They said "We don't get it? Why would that bother them?" You can't expect parody to work when the target has zero self-awareness re: the shortcomings being parodied.

Which made me realize... the material doesn't matter as much as how the audience takes it. And right now, there is no place in Japanese comedy for a foreigner who isn't a stereotypical foreigner.

When I first conceived of the idea, I kind of thought that if I worked it the right way, it might have the power to change that, to change something about the way we're perceived in Japan. In practice, I realized I may have been hoping for the impossible. So I'm giving up.

Hello. I'm Bobby Judo. I am THE American in Japan.

Japanese People Are Staring at Me...

2011-11-12T13:37:00.001+09:00

If you're a foreigner in Japan (excepting those of Asian descent), you've been stared at. A lot.

You've probably even developed the ability to identify a certain look on the faces of some Japanese people. There's a flickering of the eyes as the wheels in their mind turn, a slight inclination of the head, and a nervous, involuntary twitching in the corners of the mouth, a fluttering movement in the lips. They're not just staring, they're working up the courage to talk to you.

When I'm not in a social mood, I catch myself hoping that they won't have to time to find ENOUGH courage before the train reaches my stop, or I finish my coffee, or whatever situation has flung us together ends... because it's almost always the same conversation. They'll ask "(Where) Are you from?" or "How long stay Japan?" and then it's on into chopstick, sushi, and samurai territory.

And keep in mind, I don't mean to make fun of anyone or imply that Japanese people can't speak English well. But I have noticed that in general, the Japanese people with the best English skills don't really tend to start random conversations with foreigners who cross their path. Maybe it's because they're internationally-minded enough to realize that we're not a big deal. In any case, it's usually the "Are you from?" crowd, and the older, less easily embarrassed people who end up speaking up.

Having been in Japan for over 5 years now, I'm not really that open to rehashing the same ground about who I am, where I come from, and what I can or cannot eat, just because people are curious. I think I've developed an aura that tends to discourage that curiosity where possible. But recently, I'm having to rethink a lot of that, because the circumstances of my life have changed.

Now, when I notice people staring at me, I can't always tell if it's because I'm a foreigner, or if it's because they recognize me from TV. The realization that this meant I was going to have change my attitude came about 3 months ago. We had just aired a segment where I went to a town called Shiroishi to learn how to harvest lotus root, and then taught the farmers how to make an Indian dish with it.

(You can actually watch that segment if you'd like, here! Sorry, it won't be subtitled.)

A few days later, at the supermarket, I got to a certain line at exactly the same time as a nervous-looking Japanese woman in her 40s. We both took a minute to try to defer to the other, non-verbally, gesturing with our hands: "You go ahead," "No, by all means, you." In the end, she had a full cart and I had two items, so I gave her a bow of gratitude and accepted.

But I could feel her behind me, hovering over my shoulder, standing a little too close and chewing her lip, building up the courage.

What she said, without prefacing it with a "hello," a "sumimasen," a "konnichiha," or a"Can you speak Japanese?" was "レンコン、観れなかった； I couldn't see the lotus root."

My first response was, "Oh. It's in the vegetable section, by the potatoes."

But she just laughed and clarified what she meant. She had seen the TV commercials for my show, and even marked it on her calendar so she could catch it. But on the day of, she got stuck in traffic, and could only catch the end, after my segment had already aired.

So we ended up talking about when I would be on next, and she was very friendly, and supportive, and said that she would be rooting for me to continue to succeed.

In the weeks and months that have followed, I've had a lot of similar conversations, and all started with a stare.

The funniest so far has been from a middle-aged man who saw me jogging past his business and hollered out　「おい、ボビー!家の店もテレビで宣伝しろ！」 or "Hey Bobby! You better introduce our place on your TV show too!" Most of the shows I do are food related, and we often go to restaurants and give them glowing reviews on TV, so when I go out to eat I hear that kind of thing a lot. "Next time you come, bring the cameras!" But when I stopped to wave back at this guy, I cracked up because his "place" was a fantastically filthy hole-in-the-wall, and it was an auto-repair garage.

But getting those kinds of reactions has really forced to me become a nicer kind of person. I have to be on my best behavior, because I never know who's watching.

Once my wife and I got home from an outing at the park in Fukuoka, and I had received a Tweet from someone I don't know. It said "Hey! You and your wife were at the Starbucks in Ohori Koen for about an hour, right? I was sitting right behind you, the whole time!"

That... is super creepy.
To avoid that kind of thing, and so I don't come off like a closed-off douchebag to potential fans, I'm enforcing a big change. When I see someone looking at me, I'm saying "Hi."

Here's hoping a general air of positivity and friendliness will be rewarding. Rewarding enough to justify the minor annoyance of "Are you from?"

疾風迅雷 + New TV Job

2011-10-02T13:42:00.000+09:00

I know, I know... you guys are all like "WTF? A yojijukugo? On the Daily-Yoji? What is this, 2008?"

But there is an explanation.

I have a new TV job starting tomorrow. It's a mid-morning bangumi called "Sawada De~su!" on KBC. I'm doing a 5 minute cooking segment that they've roughly titled "Bobby's Cooking." It's all live, and it's going to be Monday~Thursday for the next two weeks.

After that, I hope that they'll consider a once a week or twice a week spot. Every day is kind of rough.

But we've spent the last month or so doing 打ち合わせ (うちあわせ；preparatory meeting)、hammering out the details and trying to decide on what kind of feel we want for my "character" and for the segment. They want to capitalize on the whole, cool looking foreigner thing, so they put together a ギャルソン (waiter) costume for me, complete with black vest and necktie. They also want me to wink... like, a lot.

They also decided that the focus of the segment should be less on the food and more on the conversation. They imposed the 5 minute limit because they thought it'd be more amusing if I have to hurry and the food didn't come out right, or I didn't finish in time and everyone got to joke about it.

But while they were searching for anything else about me that might add a little more プラスアルファ(bonus material) to the segment, I mentioned that I'm slightly more knowledgeable than average about yojijukugo. They loved that.

The way they've decided to incorporate that is by having me spout the occasional super complex Yo-ji or kotowaza while I'm doing my cooking. The first script though, for tomorrow came with a yojijukugo I'd never seen before. The director said it took her a little while to come up with one that would work. I wish she'd have taken a liiiiiittttttttle more time... because this one is kind of a stretch. Here it is:

疾風迅雷
しっぷうじんらい
shipuu jinrai

Definition:
非常にはやい風と激しい雷。行動がすばやく激しいこと。
Translation:
1. Lightning-fast
2. Fast and rough

疾風 is a strong storm or gale. Hurricane level even. 迅雷 is a clap of thunder. You can use it literally to talk about a storm, or you can use if metaphorically to talk about someone's actions.

How will I be using this you ask? Well, the recipe in question is my California Style Spicy Tuna Bowl, which necessitates the preparation of sushi rice. Since we've only got five minutes to do everything, the mixing of the sushi rice has to be done with 疾風迅雷の勢い。 Like I said, it's a stretch. They're probably going to ask me to explain it, and I'll say something like 「風のように早く、雷のように激しく。」

It has a synonymous yoji in 電光石火.

Thoughts on "I am a Fake-Priest in Japan."

2011-09-21T12:00:00.000+09:00

(Apologies in advance to Mike Big Island. I have extra time on my hands at work this morning, and I've been using it to pick apart his blog. My reactions to it quickly became too long to fit into comments without becoming "that guy" in the thread, and trying to post them on twitter was an even sadder state of affairs. So they got moved here where, hopefully, they won't bother anyone who isn't interested in hearing them.)

"On The Virgin Road: I am a Fake-Priest in Japan" is a brand new blog from author Mike Big Island and I think it might get very popular, very quickly.

NOT Mike in the picture above. Probably. I just Google-imaged that shit...

He writes from behind the scenes of the wedding industry in Japan, which is a fascinating field, drawing from his experience as a foreign "pastor." That experience is extensive: "many years" and over 700 weddings to date.
Here's what I like about Mike Big Island.
Just check out the "About" page of his blog:

I am not a priest. I am not a pastor. I am an actor. I go to Japanese weddings and play the part of a Christian preacher. I am paid handsomely for this service. The couples are happy. I am happy. Everyone is happy.
This is a blog with stories from this world. The wedding industry in Japan has often been profiled in the international media, but in a rather superficial way. I hope this blog will reveal a bit more.

Simple, to the point, and most importantly, positive. Each blog post is infused with an attitude, not of resignation, but acceptance and appreciation. "This is the way Japan is, and hey, I'm doing pretty well because of it." I love that. I wish I could be more like that. So many foreigners in Japan start out feeling entitled and end up resentful. I find myself drifting too close to that path more often than I care to admit. But as Mike says, more than once, "Japan is no place for a cynic."

And I imagine he's right about the treatment of the industry in the international media. I can see the western media focusing in on things like the insane cost of rental clothing, the super-sparkly brightly colored wedding dresses, and the "gorgeous" (read: "gaudy") western-style chapels as elements of "wacky Japan." To us, priests like Mike stand out as an especially bizarre aspect of the whole affair.

But... shouldn't they? I mean, it is bizarre, isn't it?

In a Christian wedding ceremony, the pastor, or priest, or minister (being Jewish, I'm not really sure of the nomenclature) who officiates the ceremony is acting with religious authority. He is invested with the power of God to affirm the wedding vows, and to validate the marriage.

Tell a westerner that a Japanese bride and groom place no stock in Christianity, have never been to church or come across a bible, and yet they're so enamored with the appearance of the Christian ceremony that they're willing to pay exorbitant amounts of money to replicate it... and we will think that's odd. Add to that the fact that the officiant can just be any white foreigner off the street, and yeah, you've officially made it to "wacky Japan" level.

Mike points out though, that in Japan that when it comes to ceremony, surface is often as far as it goes. The superficial appearance is all that's really expected, and all that they really want. To judge that from a western standpoint might be unfair. Yes, it is an appropriation of western culture. But just like "curry" it's an import that becomes/has become Japanese. When you view it as Japanese culture instead, maybe there's more to be said for it. I'm glad to have the chance to see it from his point of view, and the opportunity to re-evaluate some of my ethnocentric judgements.

I'm even happier that there's no sense that he feels like he's "putting one over on the Japs." I've met a few fake priests who've joked about how dumb the people who pay their wages are, or how they could say whatever they wanted during the "reading" and no one would know the difference. It's Mike's sense of responsibility to the job (he's being paid well to perform a service) and gratitude (he couldn't get a job like this anywhere else) that keep the blog from becoming the standard gaijin bitch and brag fest.

For the most part, it's refreshingly open and honest... which makes me feel like I can be open and honest too. As much as I enjoy this blog, I'm also wary of it. I'm interested to see where it goes, but here are my causes for concern.

In the "About" section, quoted above, Mike says "he plays the part of a Christian preacher." True. But he also calls himself an "actor." He stresses the word "actor" multiple times throughout his other posts as well. He even has a post up about "method acting," in which he writes:

I found myself running through the script with a bit of extra emotion, as I thought about my own children and their wedding days down the line. I wonder if this happens with stage or film “actors”, are they affected by something in the moment, altering their performance? It’s not exactly “method acting” (as I have said repeatedly, I am no priest or pastor, merely an actor) but there ARE times in the job where you do begin to feel it a bit more.

Let's set aside the fact that "extra emotion," "feeling it more," or letting something in the moment affect or alter your performance... does not constitute method acting. His comparison of himself to stage or film actors betrays how seriously he takes his "role." I don't mean to criticize him for this. The couples who hire him probably get a better wedding because of it. But there's something that feels off about it. In a post entitled "So what skills do you need for this job anyway?" the author himself states that his skills were as follows: being "white, tall, young, clean-looking." Having good Japanese pronunciation also helped. Before he started doing weddings, he was given 90 minutes of training. I doubt it was an acting workshop.

Acting? Really?

If a fake priest is an actor, then the Nigerian guys who hand out fliers promoting hip-hop venues are actors too, aren't they? I would argue that "fitting the profile" doesn't make you an actor. A model, maybe. In the end, Mike's work does require that he be able to put on a show, so as far as definitions go... I can't really say that he's not an actor. But for me, the dissonance is in his attitude. Coming from someone with such an "It is what it is," outlook on life, and from someone who subtitles his blog "I'm a fake priest," the "actor, actor, actor" stuff strikes a false chord. I'd prefer he were consistent, and call it what it is: getting paid to look the part. *
My other concerns about the blog are minor, but worth mentioning.

While promising to provide a more revealing look at the industry, some of his posts seem like they miss big opportunities for insight or information, in favor of the anecdotal.

In one post, he realizes that a couple he's officiating for are a having a shot-gun wedding (できちゃった結婚；dekichatta kekkon in Japanese). He frames the entire story as though it were a silly little faux-pas. "Oops, I should've known better than to bring up anything that might potentially threaten the seeming perfection of the day."

Maybe he could've taken a minute to mention the fact that these circumstances are actually extremely common? As of 2000, 25% of all weddings in Japan were shotgun weddings. In the case of people aged 20~25 marrying, it was HALF of all the weddings(Stats here). Mike's career spans years ("Since I was a young man," he often says). I'm sure he's noticed this, and has more to say about it than "I shouldn't have asked about it." Is it too much to expect to be able to read those kinds of posts? As of now, one could easily include that same "rather superficial" accusation in a comment on most of his posts.

And finally there's a post that stood out, more than any other, as cause to fear the future. I'll reproduce the relevant bits here:

By far the best thing about this job though was the women I met. It seemed that no matter what venue I was sent to, there would be three or four beautiful musicians and attendants at the ceremony. The wedding hall staff were also usually gorgeous.... I would be the one young, single foreign guy surrounded by a dozen beautiful Japanese women. It was a dream come true....

One time I remember doing a “wedding fair”. This is a sample wedding for potential customers. The model bride was stunningly beautiful. I got the nerve up to ask her out after the fair and she said yes. We spent the next 16 hours eating, drinking and having incredible sex. She laughed when I asked her if she could get the wedding dress from the venue and wear it for me. Told me I would have to wear the pastor gown in return. Those were fun days.

I've taken out a few sentences. Otherwise, this is the ENTIRE POST. All of it. If there's a point here other than "I had sex with a model," I'm not seeing it. There are lots of Japanophile guys out there that will love this kind of stuff, of course. It will fan the already scorching flames of their "Japan: The Land of Easy Pussy" daydreams. But for me, this post is pointless, and what's worse, half-assed. If you're gonna write sex... write sex. It's what the whole post is leading up to, and yet in the end it all boils down to "We had sex. It was good." Your drinking buddies wouldn't even enjoy hearing you brag about it like that.

Mike's twitter feed ( @fakepriestinjap ) boasts "More salicious (sic) [posts] to come with time." If this is the case, here's my unsolicited two: Make sure you're writing about sex for a reason other than... to tell us you had sex. And even if you can't do that, make it interesting enough that we forgive you for it.

In any case, I'm subscribing to his site and following on Twitter. I'm very interested to see where he's going with this, and hope that in time, we'll get to see a little more substance, and a little less "I don't think ring bears are cute." After all, to my knowledge, there's no one else out there blogging about this. Here's hoping Mike Big Island capitalizes on it.

* Post Publication Edit:
A new post is up on "On the Virgin Road" partially in response to my criticism of the use of the term "actor" via Twitter... He writes:

And as to being an “actor”: well, when filing out my tax papers last year I noticed it said “haiyu” (俳優)。So for legal purposes, I’m an “actor”. Fair enough, I can live with that."

I can live with that too.